His Ranch, His Rules Read online

  I turned toward Darlene but the look on her face told me what she was going to say before she said it. My stomach was a ball of ice. Blood was rushing to my face. The headache medicine I had taken that morning seemed to wear off all at once and there was a dull thudding between my temples as she said the words I’d been dreading the past six months when I knew my work habits had fallen to below subpar.

  She took one long sniff, then uttered the dreaded words, “You’re fired.”

  Twenty minutes later, Ted found me crying in the breakroom. Janice must have gotten a hold of him to come and take me away from Vet and Pet for good. She wasn’t going to miss me.

  Handing me a tissue from the patterned box on the counter, he said, “Chin up, G.”

  Wiping at the tears, hoping to salvage the three layers of mascara I had put on, I sniffled. “Did Janice tell you what happened?” I blew my nose in a long embarrassing honk, not even caring—I couldn’t possibly be more embarrassed than I already was.

  He gave me a smile, but his nose wrinkled the same as Mrs. Barker’s had. “Yes. She figured since you and I get lunch together almost every single day that I wouldn’t mind coming a bit early to—her words, not mine—escort you off the premises. Luckily, I call here so much my number was stored in the front desk’s caller ID. Whew, you do reek. How much did you have to drink last night?”

  I moaned, “Want to know the sad truth? I don’t even remember.”

  Wrapping his arm around my shoulders, he said, “I’m worried about you. You just haven’t been the same since… Jake left. You go out every night. Sometimes when we go to lunch you look like you slept in your clothes. And you seem so sad. You’ve got to get over Jake and get your life together.”

  “But Jake was my life!” I wailed, a fresh flow of tears starting. “We were together four years. Four years! The only guy I ever dated! All those wasted years in college, then moving to the city with Regina, to be closer to him after graduation—”

  “What about me? After all we’ve been through together,” he said, elbowing me with a grin.

  “Of course, Ted. To be closer to you too. It’s just that I invested so much into that relationship, and for what? And the night he broke up with me, I thought he was going to propose. Can you believe that? What an idiot I was. I bought a dress, had my hair done. It was so humiliating. I mean, who takes a girl to out to eat to break up with her. And to Georgia’s—the fanciest restaurant in town, my favorite—no less. It was humiliating.”

  “I know. It is a sad story… no matter how many times you tell it, G. I practically have it memorized at this point. You do remember the dude was on my baseball team and I introduced you?” he asked.

  “You’re just so easy to talk to. It’s your own fault you keep having to hear about it.”

  He laughed. “I’ll always be there for you, G. Repeated sob stories and all.”

  “You’ve been by my side for pretty much my whole life. And after my parents…” we communicated our shared experience of ‘that time’ with a single glance, “you were there for me like no other. And been like a big brother ever since. I’m sorry about the last few months.”

  “Seriously, G, it’s time to move on from Jake. And stop drowning your sorrows in liquor. This drinking habit of yours is dangerous, gross, and not to mention… expensive.”

  I groaned. “Don’t remind me. One too many times I’ve ordered the entire bar a round. With so little spending money, I haven’t gotten to buy a single item from this year’s Rag & Bone denim collection—I drank all my denim money away. And did I tell you the best part about where all this drinking has gotten me? Gina kicked me out this morning.”

  Ted gave a low whistle. “Regina kicked you out? That’s serious. She’s a patient lady. Why’d she kick you out?”

  “Oh, she got tired of Freddy calling her to come and pick me up from his bar, pitch black drunk. I’m too embarrassed to even ask her how she managed to get me into the house.”

  Ted’s voice filled with concern. “I didn’t know the drinking had gotten this bad. No offense, but you let this breakup totally destroy your life.”

  “I know!” I whined. “Now, I’m homeless, jobless, and the place I go to drown my sorrows had even kicked me out for good. Freddy told Gina I’m not welcome at the Tavern anymore.”

  “Um… I think that might be a good thing. Freddy did you a favor.”

  “What am I going to do, Ted? I have to be out of Gina’s by the end of next month, my bank account balance is a three-digit number, and I’m not even a real vet according to Pregnant Pammy. I’m—” I wrinkled up my nose and did my best imitation of Mrs. Barker, “—just a homeless, unemployed vet tech.”

  There was no smile on Ted’s face as he looked me over, but at least there was no disgust either. Just pure honest sympathy for me. His pathetic friend Georgia who had let a boy destroy her life.

  “I had no idea you were this far gone, G. I’m so sorry. I mean—I knew the breakup was hard on you and all, but I’ve been so busy with Kaley I feel like you flew under my radar and I wasn’t aware of how bad it was. And I feel guilty—I was the one who introduced you to Jake in the first place.”

  “It’s not your fault, Ted. I’d been begging you to introduce me to him after going to your baseball games. And I know I shouldn’t be relying on you anymore. You and Kaley have your own lives to live.”

  Putting his arm around me, Ted said, “Kaley loves you and knows you’re like a little sister to me. We’d do anything to help you. Why don’t you move in with us?”

  I shook my head. “No way. Not after all you’ve done for me. I am not going to cramp you and your fiancée’s relationship any more than I already have.” I couldn’t add that spending time with two people who were so in love only made me more heartsick.

  Despite himself, Ted looked relieved that I hadn’t taken him up on the offer to move in. “I might have something for you.”

  “What do you mean?” I doubted there was anything Ted could do to move my life up a peg from the bottom of the barrel where I was now residing.

  “Do you remember when I told you my dad’s side of the family is cowboys? Like, real ones?”

  “Vaguely,” I shrugged.

  “My dad’s brother, Uncle Ray passed away seven years ago, but he has four sons. The oldest son runs a cattle ranch slash vacation getaway slash destination wedding place near Little Peak, Wyoming. It’s practically in the Grand Teton National Forest, about an eight-hour drive from here—a real out in the middle of nowhere place. The nearest city is an hour away. It’s so remote that almost all his employees live there, on the ranch.”

  “Sounds like a wonderful place to shoot a murder mystery.”

  Ted laughed. “It is isolated, I’ll give you that, but it’s also gorgeous. They do weddings, getaway packages, horseback riding lessons. Vacationers can fish, hike, canoe, boat, take tours of Jackson Hole. There’s a working cattle ranch up and there’s an onsite restaurant called the Mess Hall. His grandma cooks all the food—everyone calls her Memaw, and her home cooking is the best I’ve had. I don’t get to see them too often since the ranch is so far from Boise, but I try to call and check in about once a month. Last I talked to Brody, he mentioned he was looking for a good tech for the livestock, but I hadn’t thought of you until now.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because you wouldn’t have taken it. Ranch life isn’t exactly your thing, you know. But now, you seem desperate and considering your current life circumstances, I feel like you might be more willing to make some concessions.”

  “What do you mean, not my thing? I’m tough,” I protested weakly.

  “Well, first off, the nearest bar is fifty miles away.” He flashed me a teasing grin.

  “What else?”

  “I don’t know, nature, fresh air… exercise? Have you even ever stepped foot in a national park? I know people who aren’t from here think Boise is a Podunk little city, but two hundred thousand people is a lot more than the seven hu
ndred year-round inhabitants of Little Peak. There is no mall. You would certainly have to give up your overpriced celebrity denim fetish—”

  “Shut up, Ted,” I said, playfully punching him in the arm. He was the only one who could put a smile on my face at a time like this.

  “Alright, alright,” he said, laughing. “But there are some things—other than the wilderness and isolation—that may be harder for you to swallow. My cousin… how should I put this… he’s kind of hardcore straightedge. And he doesn’t put up with any crap on his ranch.”

  “Straightedge, like he’s a punk? I had a couple of friends like that in high school. No alcohol, no caffeine, I think they may have even been vegan. Does he have like a Mohawk and everything?”

  Ted laughed. “Punk? No. Far from it. And as for vegan—no way—he’s a cattle rancher after all. Straightedge as in he doesn’t drink, smoke, do any substances, nothing like that. The strongest drug he partakes in is my aunt’s sweet tea. And he won’t allow any substances on his property. He says he thrives on clean living and sunshine, and his employees have to abide by it too.”

  “I respect that,” I said, nodding my head as I planned ways I could sneak vodka into emptied water bottles.

  “And another thing, Georgia. The men on the ranch have a bunkhouse, and the woman have a separate one. They are on opposite ends of the ranch. When I brought Kaley there to visit, even though we were already engaged, Brody made us stay in different buildings. No coed sleepovers.”

  “Well, that shouldn’t be a problem for me. I’ve been running a little dry on the man front lately.” I gave a halfhearted laugh. The truth was, I would never, ever love another man like I loved Jake. I just knew it. Sneaking strange men into the bunk was not going to be an issue.

  “One more thing, Georgia, and this might be a deal breaker for you, but keep an open mind. My cousin, he’s kind of religious. If you take the job, you’d have to go to church on Sunday.”

  “He requires his employees to attend church? Is that even legal?”

  “I have no idea. But he’s one of those ‘what I say goes’ kind of guys and no one really questions him too much.”

  I pictured Ted’s cousin as a short little severe man wearing a shirt buttoned up to his chin and a mustache. Or maybe dressed like an Amish farmer with a wide-brimmed hat and full facial hair. Or just old and crotchety. “So, what’s this straightedge, clean-living, religious nut cousin of yours named, anyway?”

  “Brody. But most people call him Boss Man.”

  “Brody.” I mulled over the name. It didn’t go with my stuffy, elderly mental picture of Ted’s clean-living cousin. “And are there any other ‘one more thing’s’ I ought to know about this crazy cousin of yours?”

  I choked on my laughter as Ted’s face changed. A crimson blush had risen to his cheeks. Rubbing his forehead worriedly with his hand, he spoke softly. “You’re really not going to like this next part, G.” His green eyes locked on mine.

  Goosebumps covered my arms. “What?”

  Ted looked down at the table, no longer willing to hold my gaze.

  “Spit it out, Ted. I’m sure I can handle it.”

  “It’s just, you’re such a feminist and your ideals—beyond buying thousand-dollar jeans, drinking enough liquor to float a ship, and avoiding churches like the plague—may not match up with Brody’s.”

  “So? My ideals don’t… didn’t,” I corrected myself, remembering I was no longer employed, “always match up with Darlene’s but she’s the boss and I’m the employee. Until this last crazy bender with me showing up breathing fumes, I was a good tech—” my voice cracked, tears burning the backs of my eyes, “—now, I’m just a fired drunk.”

  A tear escaped, rolling down my cheek.

  Ted brushed it away. “You just made a mistake. That’s all. A broken-hearted, tequila-infused mistake. Life will continue and ranch or no ranch, you’ll find another job.” Ted reached across the table, patting my hand with his. “You’re going to be okay, G.”

  Sniffling, I said, “You see how pathetic I am. I don’t have a lot of options right now. What are you trying to tell me? Your cousin is old-fashioned?”

  With a snort and an eye roll, Ted barked, “Old-fashioned? I guess you could say that. Some might prefer to use the term archaic.” Ted took a deep sigh. When his eyes met mine, his blush reddened to crimson. “Some of the men in my family, myself excluded of course, believe that the man should be in charge in the relationship.”

  “I can handle that. It’s not like I’m going to be dating him. What he does in his personal life shouldn’t affect the job.”

  “Brody is… very headstrong. He may say or do some things that make you… uncomfortable.”

  My brow crumpled in frustration. Why wouldn’t Ted just come out with it already? What was it about this man that had Ted scared I would be hightailing it out of that ranch without any notice? “Uncomfortable how?”

  Throwing his elbows onto the break table, Ted buried his face in his hands as he murmured something unintelligible.

  My curiosity piqued, I had to know what had him so embarrassed. Lifting a hand away from his face, I demanded, “What did you say?”

  Ted groaned but saw I had him trapped. His face crumpled in a grimace. I could tell whatever it was, it made Ted incredibly uncomfortable to talk about it.

  “I said—Brody is a spanking man.”

  Silence filled the breakroom. The hum of the vending machine was, all of a sudden, very loud.

  “You mean, ‘a spanking man,’ as in he’s, like, spanking clean, squeaky clean? Something like that?”

  Those green eyes locked on mine once again. “I mean, spanking man as in—he spanks women.”

  A heat rushed through me. As Ted’s words processed in my brain, to my shock—and dismay—there was a dampening in my panties. A feeling of heaviness swelled in my core. Cheeks burning, my eyes dropped to the tabletop, my breath caught in my throat.

  A spanking man. How had three little words affected me so deeply, so intensely? Could Ted read my face? Sense the desire emitting from my body? Get yourself under control, Georgia. Breathe.

  Taking a huge gulp of air, words rushed from me. I knew I was speaking too fast to play it cool, but I couldn’t slow down. “Spanks women? That’s crazy. How 1950s desperate housewife. What kind of egomaniac spanks a grown ass woman? Who made him the boss anyway?”

  “He did, G. He is the boss. Boss man, in fact.” A smirk rested on Ted’s face. I hoped that smirk didn’t mean Ted had read right through my feminist rant. Right down to my core where I was melting into a puddle ever since he declared his cousin was a ‘spanking man.’

  “He can’t spank his employees. That’s illegal.”

  “He doesn’t. Just threatens them, I think. That part of the story is all rumor-based. But I do know for sure that he does spank his girlfriends.”

  Finally, my feminist roots woke up—I still couldn’t believe my body had betrayed me with its horny reaction. “A, if it’s an employee that would be sexual harassment and lead to a substantial lawsuit. And B, who on earth would date him? What woman would subject herself to such a demeaning lifestyle?”

  Leaning back, Ted stretched his long arms behind him. Scratching the back of his head, he shrugged apologetically. “I’m just the messenger, G. And I’m his cousin, not his keeper. I can’t tell you why he does what he does. Or how his girlfriends put up with it. Though I’m sure the fact that he hit six feet by the ninth grade—and is the spitting image of Luke Bryan—might have something to do with it.” Ted leaned in, lowering his voice even though it was just the two of us in the breakroom. “I will tell you this,” he whispered conspiratorially. “It runs in the family. Brody is the oldest of my cousins—there are four brothers in total. Travis, Hayes, and the youngest one, Colton.”

  “Oh, my gosh, all cowboy’s names. All spanking men, huh?”

  “Yes. That side of the family is very involved in ranching, or horse riding or some crazy Wild
West activity. And they are ‘men’s men.’ Very into camping, fishing, rugged outdoor activities—”

  “And spanking their girlfriends?”

  “Um… yes. They tried to explain it to me in the past. But the bottom line is—no pun intended—the spanking comes with other traits in the relationship. These men are incredibly devoted to their woman. Protective, possessive, and treat the ladies in their lives like queens.”

  “Except when they misbehave.”

  “Exactly.”

  I groaned, rolling my eyes back into my head. “Tell me you’re joking. This conversation can’t be real.” But why did I feel a ray of hope welling up inside that it was real? That there were men like Ted had described out there in the world? Me and my pulsing pussy were currently betraying my entire gender.

  “Look, G. That’s all I want to say on the subject. But I didn’t want to tell you about Brody and not be up front about his lifestyle. The fact is, he’s a real stand-up guy, and you’d be a good fit for the work on the ranch. And maybe a fresh start after Jake is exactly what you need. Do you want me to ask him if the job is still available or not?”

  My stomach sank as I realized the gravity of my situation. If I took the job on the ranch, I’d be leaving my city and all my friends behind. And be working for a man who threw women over his knee for a good sound spanking when they were naughty—I was infuriated with myself that the idea didn’t anger me as it should.

  But what was the alternative? Right now, I had no plan.

  Sighing, I confessed, “I don’t have a choice at this point, do I, Ted?”

  He gave a sad shake of his head. “No, you don’t, Georgia. Tell you what, go home and think about it. I’ll call Brody and see if the position is still available. You have my number if you want to hear the answer. But if you take it, you have to make me a promise.”

  “What?”

  “You can’t back out. Brody is tough as nails, but he’s a good guy and he’s family. He requires a one-year commitment. I don’t want to recommend a friend for the job, just to have them let him down. You are the best at what you do, Georgia. You just need a fresh start.”